That's So Gay and Why Revisionism Should be Your Life Partner Derrick said that I should wear tighter shorts that would accentuate my otherwise flat-ass ass. I responded flippantly with, “ That’s so gay Derrick.” After uttering the phrase, time froze – Derrick and Layla transformed into Quicksilver from X-men, their eyes darting about my sterile dorm room with a mixture of surprise, melancholy, and acrimony while I sat there inert, dormant, immobile. You see, Derrick is gay, and of course I knew that, but somehow the phrase came out my lips, smooth as sippin’ mornin’ coffee. Breaching the space of infinite awkward stretching out before us, Layla said, “Gill, what do you mean by that?” I spluttered. Swallowed my tongue. Didn’t have a response. Layla’s brave questioning confronted me with perspective. My meta took a moment to collect itself, but eventually it caught up and I thought: there is no one way a gay person acts. Why the hell do I even have that p...
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